What if My Team is Resistant to Discussing Emotions?

If your team is resistant to discussing emotions, it's a common challenge, especially in workplace cultures where emotions may have historically been viewed as unprofessional or irrelevant. However, the Emotional Culture Deck (ECD) can create a safe and supportive environment for discussing emotions by approaching the subject in a non-threatening, structured, and engaging way. Here are strategies to overcome resistance and foster open emotional conversations:

Strategies to Overcome Resistance

1. Normalise Emotional Conversations

• Set the Tone: Start by explaining that emotions are a normal and essential part of work life. Share how emotions influence team dynamics, decision-making, and overall performance. Framing it as an important business conversation, rather than just a personal one, can reduce apprehension.
• Lead by Example: As the facilitator or team leader, be open and honest about your own emotions. When you model vulnerability and emotional openness, it signals to others that it's safe to do the same.

2. Create Psychological Safety

• Establish Ground Rules: At the beginning of the session, set clear expectations for confidentiality and respect. Emphasise that the session is a judgment-free space, where all emotions are valid, and no one is pressured to share more than they’re comfortable with.
• Acknowledge Resistance: Address any discomfort head-on by acknowledging that discussing emotions can feel unfamiliar or awkward, but it's a valuable tool for building stronger, more effective teams.

3. Start with Easier, Low-Risk Emotions

• If the team is particularly resistant, begin with a lighter approach. Focus first on emotions that people want to feel at work (e.g., motivated, appreciated), rather than delving into negative emotions (e.g., stressed, frustrated) right away. This helps participants ease into the conversation without feeling exposed or vulnerable too soon.
• Optional Participation: Give people the choice to pass on certain questions or topics, which can reduce the pressure to participate in potentially sensitive discussions.

4. Use the Cards to Make Emotions Tangible

• Cards as a Buffer: The ECD uses cards to make the abstract concept of emotions more concrete. The cards serve as a “buffer” between the person and their feelings, which can make it easier to talk about emotions in a less personal or confrontational way.
• Externalise the Discussion: Encourage participants to focus on the emotions represented by the cards, rather than their own emotions, in the early stages. This allows them to engage in the conversation without feeling like they are exposing themselves.

5. Facilitate Nonverbal Participation

• Not everyone feels comfortable verbalising emotions right away. Allow participants to start by simply selecting cards that resonate with them, without requiring an explanation. Later, you can ask if anyone wants to share why they chose particular cards, but this step should remain voluntary.
• Anonymous Sharing: In larger groups, you can introduce a process where participants share emotions anonymously by placing selected cards face down or submitting them to the facilitator. The facilitator can then group similar cards and reflect on the overall emotional tone without singling out individuals.

6. Focus on Group Emotions Instead of Individual Ones

• To create a safer environment, start with a team-wide discussion. Instead of asking how individuals feel, ask how the team as a whole feel or should feel. This diffuses any sense of personal exposure and makes it easier to reflect on emotions from a collective perspective.
• Frame Emotions in Terms of Organisational Impact: Discuss how the emotions selected affect team performance, collaboration, and client outcomes, which can make emotional conversations feel more professional and relevant.

7. Introduce a Structured Process

• Set Clear Steps: Guide the conversation using structured prompts and phases. For example, begin with choosing cards, then move to discussing emotions, and finally focus on actionable steps to improve the emotional culture. This structure helps participants feel that they aren’t just sharing for the sake of sharing, but rather contributing to meaningful outcomes.
• Break Down the Process: Start with smaller, manageable groups or pairs to discuss emotions before sharing with the larger group. People often feel more comfortable discussing emotions in a smaller, intimate setting.

8. Highlight the Benefits of Emotional Conversations

• Show How Emotions Impact Work: Share data, case studies, or personal examples of how understanding emotions has led to better outcomes in other organisations. When participants see the clear business or performance benefits of discussing emotions, they may feel more willing to engage.
• Tie Emotions to Team Objectives: Link the discussion of emotions to the team’s overall goals, such as improving communication, increasing collaboration, or driving innovation. This makes the conversation less about individual vulnerability and more about collective success.

9. Debrief After the Session

• After the session, check in with participants to gather feedback. This allows them to reflect on how the process felt and gives you the chance to make adjustments for future sessions if needed. It also shows that their emotional well-being is taken seriously and appreciated.

 

The Emotional Culture Deck is designed to create a safe environment by making emotions more tangible and structured, encouraging people to engage at their own pace. By facilitating the conversation thoughtfully and focusing on the benefits for both individuals and the organisation, you can help your team feel more comfortable discussing emotions, even if they are initially resistant.