What is Self-Regard and Why is it Important?

Developing self-regard involves a process of self-reflection and learning to appreciate one's intrinsic worth and building confidence in one's abilities. When you hold yourself in high regard you can see yourself for who you are and appreciate where you are at in life.

Self-Regard is the foundation to build confidence, self-respect, self-understanding, and self-perception. In this blog, we are going to discuss how Self-Regard can help you authentically build confidence and understanding of yourself without the need to fake it until you make it.

Self-Regard Defined

Self-regard is the ability to respect and accept yourself, essentially liking the way you are. To have healthy self-regard is to appreciate your perceived positive aspects and potential, as well as your negative aspects and limitations. It’s knowing your strengths and weaknesses and liking yourself ‘warts and all’.

Feeling good about your whole self without condemnation for the areas that are a work in progress. Because individuals with healthy self-regard know their strengths and weaknesses and feel good about themselves, they have no trouble openly and appropriately acknowledging when they have made mistakes, are wrong, or don’t know all the answers.

How Self-Regard is Critical to Increasing Emotional Intelligence and Life Success 

Self-regard is a foundation to build other areas of emotional intelligence and professional capabilities.

• Self-Actualisation: measures the ability to realise one’s potential capacities and goals. People with high Self-Regard often have a keen sense of Self-Actualisation because they believe in their ability to achieve their goals.
• Problem Solving: Is an individual's ability to effectively solve problems where emotions are involved. High Self-Regard often correlates with better problem-solving skills, as individuals with a positive sense of self are more likely to approach challenges confidently and with a clear mind, allowing for more effective solutions.
• Reality Testing: Refers to the capacity to remain objective by seeing things as they really are. This subscale is closely linked to Self-Regard because a realistic self-assessment is crucial for accurate reality testing. Individuals with healthy self-regard are typically better at assessing situations accurately, as they are less likely to be clouded by biases stemming from low self-esteem or overinflated self-perceptions.
• Optimism: This measures an individual's positive outlook on life. High levels of Self-Regard can contribute to a more optimistic attitude as individuals with a healthy respect for themselves tend to be more hopeful about the future.
• Interpersonal Relationships: While this might seem indirectly related, the way one regards oneself can significantly impact how one interacts and forms relationships with others.

Five Key Signs to Cultivate More Self-Regard

Recognising the need for greater self-regard is an important step towards personal growth and emotional well-being. Here are five key signs that suggest a person may benefit from developing more self-regard:

Persistent Self-Doubt

If a person frequently questions their abilities, worth, or decisions, even in situations where they are clearly competent, it could indicate low self-regard. This constant self-doubt often holds them back from taking on new challenges or pursuing opportunities.

Overly Critical Self-Assessment

Continuously focusing on one’s faults, failures, or shortcomings, often to an unrealistic degree, is a sign of low self-regard. This may involve a habit of harsh self-criticism, where the individual overlooks their strengths and achievements.

Difficulty in Accepting Compliments

People who struggle with self-regard often find it hard to accept compliments genuinely. They may brush off praise, attribute their successes to luck or external factors, or feel uncomfortable when recognised for their achievements.

Excessive Concern with Others’ Opinions

An overemphasis on gaining approval from others or a preoccupation with what others think can be indicative of low self-regard. Such individuals may constantly seek validation from external sources rather than relying on their self-assessment.

Avoidance of Challenges or Risk-Taking

Avoiding new challenges, opportunities, or risk-taking due to fear of failure or a belief that they are not capable enough is a common trait in those with low self-regard. This avoidance behaviour often limits personal growth and the exploration of potential.

Exploring Your Self-Regard

Here are some questions to help you explore your self-regard. Ask yourself:

1. Do I prioritise my needs and well-being?
2. How do I react to my successes and achievements?
3. How do I respond to failure or setbacks?
4. How do I speak to myself in my thoughts, especially during challenging times?
5. Do I believe in my abilities to overcome challenges and achieve my goals?
6. Do I feel worthy of love and respect?
7. How much does my sense of self-worth depend on external validation?
8. How do I handle receiving help or support from others?
9. Do I regularly set and respect my own boundaries?
10. Am I comfortable with being myself around others?

Developing Your Self-Regard 

Developing self-regard is a crucial aspect of personal growth and emotional well-being. Here are five effective ways to build and enhance self-regard:

• Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a good friend. Acknowledge your flaws and mistakes as part of being human and learn to be gentle with yourself. Self-compassion involves recognising that perfection is unattainable and that it's okay to have imperfections.
• Engage in Positive Self-Talk: Pay attention to your internal dialogue. Challenge and replace negative thoughts about yourself with affirmations and positive statements. For example, instead of thinking, "I can't do anything right," reframe it to "I make mistakes sometimes, but I also have many successes."
• Set Realistic Goals and Celebrate Achievements: Set achievable goals and take steps towards reaching them. Celebrate your progress and accomplishments, no matter how small. This practice reinforces a sense of competency and achievement, which boosts self-regard.
• Cultivate Self-Awareness: Spend time reflecting on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Understanding yourself better can help you appreciate your unique qualities and strengths. Journaling, meditation, and mindfulness practices can be effective tools for enhancing self-awareness.
• Establish Healthy Boundaries: Learning to say no and setting limits in your personal and professional relationships can significantly improve your self-regard. It shows a respect for your own needs and values. Understand that setting boundaries is a healthy practice and is not synonymous with being selfish or unkind.

Here we can see the profound importance and transformative power of self-regard in both personal growth and emotional intelligence. By understanding and appreciating your intrinsic value, you lay the groundwork for a life marked by greater confidence, self-respect, and self-understanding. The journey to enhancing self-regard is deeply personal and multifaceted.

Each of the above practices not only strengthens your self-regard but also enriches your life in numerous ways, from improving mental health to enhancing your relationships and professional success.

Remember, self-regard is not about achieving perfection but about embracing and valuing yourself as you are, with all your strengths and limitations. As you embark on this journey, be patient and kind to yourself, and know that every step taken towards better self-regard is a step towards a more fulfilled and authentic life.

How Neural Networks Can Help You Develop Your Self-Regard

Since 2000, Neural Networks has been helping individuals and organisations build their emotional intelligence skills. As one of Australia’s leading professional development providers, we deliver innovative learning development programs in emotional intelligence,  leadership, sales, customer service and culture change.